Now here is a sweet that is truly unjustly overlooked these days in favour of the gelatine and cheap sour-perfume scent of a conglomerate whose name I have been legally advised to remove. A marriage in pink and white; spring blossom and a wedding dress, powdered with confetti, a fine coconut ice is a joy […]Read More
Ingredients TOOTHPICKS. Keep handy. 4 oz unsalted peanuts 4 oz golden caster sugar 2 oz butter pinch salt 4 tsp water Method Spread the peanuts in a single layer on a buttered oven tray. Put the other ingredients in a saucepan and start to heat very slowly, stirring all the while. When the sugar has dissolved, increase […]Read More
Children’s Cooking Party Cupcakes
Ingredients 150g butter, softened 150g caster sugar 175g self-raising flour 3 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract icing, marshmallows, chocolate buttons, hundreds and thousands, edible stars, orange and lemon jelly slices, food colouring (all colours); edible gold and silver foil, candy footballs, Smarties, candy flowers, liquorice allsorts, ground almonds, toffee and chocolate sauce, jelly worms Method […]Read More
Helena’s Secret Doughnuts
Buy real ginger. It looks like a knobby root thing. You can ask someone if you can’t figure it out. Not that fruiterer who always asks you if you want any melons. He’s disgusting. Right, now, nick one of those medicine-measuring thingies from work. I know they’re the only ones you can figure out as […]Read More
Best Birthday Cake Ever
Ingredients 4 oz Breton soft butter, first churn 8 oz white caster sugar, sifted 4 large fresh free-range eggs, beaten 6 oz self-raising flour 6 oz plain flour 1 cup fresh milk 1 tsp vanilla essence Ingredients for the icing 4 oz Breton soft butter, first churn 16 oz icing sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence […]Read More
Brandy and Horlicks Get Well Cake
Ingredients 8 oz butter, softened 4 oz caster sugar 5 eggs 1 tin sweetened condensed milk 8 oz Horlicks 8 oz plain flour 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 tbsp cognac Method Grease the small square tin and line the base and sides with baking paper. Allow the baking paper to extend over the top by […]Read More
Strawberry Meringue Cupcakes
For 24 cupcakes 250g unsalted butter, at room temperature 250g caster sugar 4 eggs 250g self-raising flour 4 tbsp milk (whole or semi-skimmed, not skimmed) 6-8 tsp strawberry jam For the Swiss meringue buttercream 8 egg whites 500g caster sugar 500g unsalted butter 4 tsp vanilla extract 8 tbsp seedless strawberry jam Preheat the oven […]Read More
Pear Upside Down Cake
Ingredients 3 pears, peeled, halved and cored 7 oz butter 7 oz caster sugar 3 eggs 7 oz self-raising flour, sifted 3 tbsp milk 1 tbsp icing sugar Method Arrange the pear halves evenly over the bottom of a buttered pudding dish and set aside. Using a wooden spoon (not the mixer. I know you […]Read More
Ingredients 1 egg white 1 lb icing sugar peppermint essence Method Beat the egg white until frothy – do not overbeat. No, that is just enough. Perfect. Stop now. Sieve in the icing sugar and now the mixture should be stiff. Yes, there is a lot of icing sugar on the floor. Don’t worry about […]Read More
Double Chocolate Cupcakes
Ingredients for the cake: 2500ml double cream 4500g good-quality dark chocolate 50 eggs 1650g caster sugar 1500g plain flour 10 tbsp good-quality cocoa powder 5 tsp baking powder sugar flowers to decorate Ingredients for the icing: 1000g dark chocolate, broken into pieces 800ml single cream Makes one morning’s worth. Method: Stir double cream and chocolate […]Read More
Orange Cupcakes with Marmalade Icing for a Grumpy Day
2 whole oranges, divided. Try not to buy bitter oranges. Blood oranges may be useful to squeeze out frustration.
8 oz butter, melted. Use the fire of your righteous anger to melt the butter if a pot isn’t handy.
3 whole eggs. Plus an additional three to break therapeutically by throwing at the wall.
8 oz sugar. Add more sugar if life needs a little sweetening.
8 oz self-esteem-raising flour
3 tbsp marmalade
3 tbsp orange zest
8 oz self-raising flour
1 oz caster sugar. Can be licked off spoon.
1 egg. Budget for four eggs if working with under-sevens.
1 pint full cream milk. 10 oz for recipe, plus one glass to be taken with results.
Pinch of salt. This is a small amount of salt, Issy. Tinier than your little finger. Not too much! Not! Oh. That’s too much. Never mind.